Sunday, June 1, 2008

Donnie Darko Sequel Must be stopped!

Well this movie just added two more names to the roster. How about Oscar nominated Jake Gyllenhaal? Nope. Or how about Golden Globe nominated Maggie Gyllenhaal? Wrong again. Maybe, uh, Oscar nominated Mary McDonnell? Nope, these are two brand new cast members not featured in the original film.

So what “talented” duo of actors were hired? Elizabeth Berkley, who many remember from Saved by the Bell and Showgirls, and Briana Evigan, who was in Step Up 2: The Streets, have boarded the Darko sequel/spinoff. According to THR, Berkley is playing “a speed freak-turned-Jesus freak whose sentiments about ridding the world of its exponential sin are rivaled only by her infatuation with her dreamy pastor.” They will join the already announced cast of Ed Westwick (Gossip Girl, Justin Chatwin (The Chumscrubber), and Daveigh Chase (Donnie Darko) in Utah where production has already begun.

The sequel picks up seven years after the first film and Donnie’s death when his now 18-year-old sister Samantha Darko (hence the title S. Darko), and her best friend Corey go on a roadtrip to Los Angeles, where along the way they are plagued by bizarre visions. Yeah, nothing about this movie sounds good.

For people who have forgotten what the orginal movie was about then here it is -

Donnie Darko is a David Lynch-wannabe movie about a fucked up kid, played by indie darling Jake Gyllenhaal, who talks to a rabbit, has daytime hallucinations, and might be psychic or some shit like that.

The movie almost immediately gained a cult following, especially among teenagers, largely due to the name "Darko" and due to the film's insane amount of pretentiousness. Of course, since many Darko faggots use LiveJournal, dozens of Donnie Darko-related communities popped up. Hundreds of LJ users have Donnie Darko-inspired names and are devoted to their favorite movie. Any criticism of the film is taken to heart, and they will react violently.

Detractors will often be berated by fanboys who say "YOU DIDN'T GET IT! IT WAS DEEP! etc." Because we all know how deep a movie is when they've got a guy putting his hand down his pants and thinking about Christina Applegate.

A favorite of scene, emo, goth, anime freaks, and various other teenager subcultures. Asking any of the above to explain what the fuck the film is about, or indeed asking anyone at all will result in so much utter confusion and pain that their heads will explode, even if they have a perfect internal explanation of it. The entire film is what would happen if Yoko Ono and Steven Spielberg got really high and looked at a box of Nesquik while brainstorming film ideas, and let's face it, it probably is.

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